The Month Before

Hello Blogworld,

Well, it is July 8th, and there’s an impending wedding on August 7th.  Wait! Don’t break the calculaters out, that’s 30 days.  1 Month.  2 days longer than February.  In lieu of this milestone (or pre-milestone), everyone ought to look to the dates we don’t know so well, that is,  the nonhistorical events that occur one month prior to the historical events we know so well. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this non-history lesson.

December 1918-

“La Grippe.”  “Spanish Flu.”  Also known as the Influenza pandemic of 1918.  This is a big deal, folks, as it claimed more lives than World War I.  Also, beyond the borders of Mexico, as many as 28% of Americans were infected.  Moreso, it was so impactful that it decreased the average lifespan of all Americans by 10 years.  A main issue came about when pharmacies clamped down on some of the successful drugs that fought off the disease due to their habit-forming potential.  What ingredient was present in many of these drugs? Alcohol.  Well don’t worry, pharmacies, as your worries would have some rather large support.  1 month later, on January 16th, 1919, the 18th amendment was ratified and prohibition was in town.

January 12th, 1808-

Many have known, since early childhood, that Abraham Lincoln was born on February 12th, 1809.  How? Because when he is being interviewed in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure for disordly conduct in the San Demas shopping mall, he states so very deliberately.  “That’s L-I-N-C-O-L-N.”  Well this is a bit of a stretch, but 1 month and 1 year prior to Mr. Lincoln’s birth (adjusted for inflation: about the time Christina was in Asia and I was  in…Navasota..), the Wernerian Natural History Society was formed.  This was an elitest club dedicated to…well… Natural History.  It lasted for about 50 years and members were allowed to put “M.W.S.” after their name on any writing (Member of the Wernerian Society).  Here’s the catch, people- the society is gone now, so we can put M.W.S. after any of our names! Ha!

June 4th, 1776-

A nation was in its birth pains.  Only one month away, on July 4th, the early U.S. would be in country-sized diapers.  Battles were fought, patriotism was growing, and Thomas Jefferson was dabbling in some minor plagiarism issues while drafting the Declaration of Independence.  But on June 4th, there is one major non-historic event taking place.  James Woodforde, a relatively unsuccsesfuly clergyman, was writing in his diary.  He was writing not to recount the rising political tide, nor because of any major spiritual enlightenment, he was writing to detail the events behind his severe toothache.

“My tooth pained me all night, got up a little after 5 this morning and sent for one Reeves, a man who draws teeth in this Parish and about 7 he came and drew my tooth but shockingly bad indeed, he broke away a great piece of my gum and broke one of the fangs of the tooth it gave me exquisite pain all the day after…”

For the sake of clarity, old English f’s have been replaced with modern english S’s.

-Dale Googer, M.W.S.

One thought on “The Month Before

  1. I love you guys!!!! This blog is hilarious I wish I had found it earlier!!!!!!

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